Below is an emotional checklist for a parent or caregiver to read and be familiar with when tending to a child's emotional needs:
CHILD WILL ALLOW COMFORTING DURING STRESSFUL TIME. (Distress)
Child will cry when feeling distressed and this indicates that something is wrong. Give comfort to the child, allow them to cry, redirect their attention, and help the child learn the words to say how they feel. Hold and rock the child. Give the child a soft toy to hug, or talk to a hand puppet. Read a book to the child.
EATS, SLEEPS, TOILETS WITHOUT FUSS WHEN AWAY FROM HOME. (Fear/Anxiety)
Fear is caused by the presence of something threatening of safety and security. Some situations which cause fear and anxiety are: unfamiliar surroundings, noises, new people, animals, darkness, unfamiliar routine. These situations make a child feel tense and unable to relax. As a result a child will have difficulty eating, falling asleep, and using the toilet. Adults do not have control over a child. We can gently, lovingly influence the child. Refrain from pressuring a child to eat or toilet. Talk with parents. Stay positive. Eat with the children, use nap time toys to comfort, and play soothing music to help relax. Have a predictable routine. Be accepting of the child the way they are.
HANDLES SUDDEN CHANGES AND STARTLING SITUATIONS WITH CONTROL (surprise) Surprise only lasts a moment. It's an unexpected external event such as a clap of thunder or the appearance of a person. Everything is new to an infant so they experience more surprises and startling than older children. Most children will experience delight after the initial shock is over and muscles tensing and body jumps have stopped. Prepare children for surprises such as fire drills, visitors, and new events by talking, practicing, reading books, and showing photos.
CAN EXPRESS ANGER IN WORDS RATHER THAN ACTIONS ( anger)
Anger results when we are physically or psychologically restrained from doing something, frustrated in our attempts, interrupted, personally insulted, or forced to do something against our will. Anger calls for some sort of release (venting). Caregivers have the challenge of teaching a child how to express their anger in words, not actions, and providing a healthy and safe way to let off steam. Talk about feelings. Give words for feelings. Model responses to situations that cause anger so a child can learn the proper way to face challenges. Encourage children to use words rather than actions. Teach a child what to do, rather than focusing on what not to do.
DOES NOT WITHDRAW FROM OTHERS EXCESSIVELY (shyness, shame)
Everyone feels shy at one time or another. It results from a heightened degree of self-awareness such as feeling helpless, exposed, incompetent, not living up to expectations. using shame as a form of discipline can be emotionally crippling and should be avoided. Shame results in a real or perceived put down of the self. The child may show embarrassment, cry or hide. Focus on the child's strengths. Do not dwell on the shyness. Pair the child with another peer they are comfortable with. Introduce new activities and people slowly. If the child backs away, comfort them and accept that they are not ready to join in. Some children need to watch first.
SHOWS AFFECTION CONNECTION AND LOVE (affection)
Young children show affection when around those who are affectionate. Love and affection are necessary for children's growth and development. Caregivers need to form a real connection with each child and show unconditional love. Offer lots of physical contact. Give non-verbal cues such as a smile, and eye contact. Offer verbal affirmations such as "Good to see you today". Connect with each child several times a day.
SHOWS INTEREST/ATTENTION IN ACTIVITIES (interest and excitement)
Child can focus on a person or object that captures their attention. Children will use their senses to explore. Interested children are alert, active, curious, and self-confident. A child throwing his dish on the floor isn't being difficult - he is curious about what happens when he lets go of the dish. Stimulate a child's natural curiosity by adding new items to their play, and changing toys, arrangement of the furniture, and by doing new activities. Find out what interests the child. Ask questions, pose problems to solve together.
SMILES, SEEMS HAPPY MOST OF THE TIME (joy, enjoyment)
Joy is positive and spontaneous. It is the result of a pleasant experience (hug, kiss, kind words). A person cannot teach another to be happy but she can influence by presenting a pleasant environment, and responding positively when joy occurs.
