Show Respect for Children: warm smiles, hugs, moderate tone of voice, encouragement, humor, see things from a child’s point of view, avoid comparisons of children, and interact with children frequently, move to their eye level
Understand Child Development: play materials match ages and abilities, sufficient materials and toys, children are given opportunities to make choices.
MODEL the behaviour you want to encourage: patience, cooperation, helpfulness, kindness
Encourage efforts at independence and helping others: acknowledge when a child works hard or helps someone
Set reasonable and fair limits for behaviour: knowing limits helps children control their own behaviour, limits should be clear, and consistently maintained.
Routines should be consistent, yet flexible: consistency helps children feel secure
Give individual attention: children need to know they are special
Respond to children’s needs promptly: children are less likely to act out if they know you will listen and respond
BUILD the relationship: take time to build trust and love. If you need to speak to a child about his /her behaviour focus on what needs to be changed and help make that happen without punishing. Teach the desired behaviour.
Modify the environment:
-Children who are fully engaged in play are less likely to act out
-offer activities that suit a child’s needs and interests
-ensure there are adequate materials and toys available
-add new toys, rotate through your stock, teach a new song, or go outside
Redirection/Distraction:
-redirect children away from undesired behaviours towards something more appropriate and interesting to the child.
-distract younger children with a different toy or activity
-make substitutions for older children
Allow children to be more in control of their actions:
-describe rather than evaluate: Instead of saying “Great picture” try saying “You drew something new on your car. Are those wheels?”
-Explain the effects of a child’s behaviour on other people. Instead of saying “You’re such a good helper.” say “You set the table, thanks.”
-Invite reflection: Instead of saying “That is a great tower you built” say “ How did you know to put all the big blocks on the bottom and the small blocks on top?”
Positive Phrasing:
Say comments in positive manner rather then using a negative phrase: Say “Please walk” rather than “No running”
“Toys belong in the toy bin so we don’t trip over them and get hurt” rather than “Pick up your toys.”
Active Listening:
-listen to what the child is saying
-acknowledge and accept his/her feelings
-reflect back your understanding of a message
-give feelings a name “I understand you are angry because Sally grabbed your toy.”
-trust in the child’s capacity to work through his/her feelings
Negotiating and Problem Solving:
-act as the facilitator to help children find a positive solution
-use negotiation to help children see another’s point of view
-once the resolution has been found, help with the outcome.
“I” Messages
“I” messages lets a child know how a behaviour is affecting others and gives a child he opportunity to change that behaviour. There are 3 parts to an “I” message:
Use non-blaming, developmentally appropriate words to help the child understand the effects of the behaviour
-tell your feeling about the behaviour
-give an explanation for your feeling on that behaviour
Example,” When I see you climbing the table, I am scared the table will break and you could get hurt. Is there somewhere else you can climb?”
Active Listening:
-listen to what the child is saying
-acknowledge and accept his/her feelings
-reflect back your understanding of a message
-give feelings a name “I understand you are angry because Sally grabbed your toy.”
-trust in the child’s capacity to work through his/her feelings
Negotiating and Problem Solving:
-act as the facilitator to help children find a positive solution
-use negotiation to help children see another’s point of view
-once the resolution has been found, help with the outcome.
“I” Messages
“I” messages lets a child know how a behaviour is affecting others and gives a child he opportunity to change that behaviour. There are 3 parts to an “I” message:
Use non-blaming, developmentally appropriate words to help the child understand the effects of the behaviour
-tell your feeling about the behaviour
-give an explanation for your feeling on that behaviour
Example,” When I see you climbing the table, I am scared the table will break and you could get hurt. Is there somewhere else you can climb?”
When/The Rule:
This rule helps a child to do something they don’t want to do. WHEN she does what she needs to do, THEN she can do what she wants to do. Be firm and friendly.
-”When you have picked up your toys, then you will be ready to go outside.”
“When you pick up the blocks, then it will be time for snack.”
“”When you get your coat on, then you can go outside.”
Choices:
At times, it may help to give a child a choice. Example: ”It is clean up time. Are you going to tidy up the block corner or the house corner?”
When giving choices, give only 2 and make sure both choices are okay with you.
Choices should always be respectful to the child and adult.
Calm Down Strategies:
These are times when a child just needs to take a break from the action. Help the child find a place to sit quietly with quiet toys or books apart from the play. Give the child appropriate attention. Do not withdraw your attention. Allow the child to rejoin the play. The adult should remain calm at all times to model for the child how to calm down.
